...and then there was the text I got that made this happen..
We were just hanging, watching Elmo, getting ready for bed. Sometimes at night I start to reflect on the day, the week, my life. I get into my checklist of things to do before bed and fall into my own head. 20-30 minutes will go by and I will realize I haven't said a word. It's not that I start feeling sorry for myself, but in these hours, my reality seems all the more "real". I zone out and fall in to my thoughts and the next thing I know, the kitchen is clean and jammers are on. Then comes that precious time when the checklist has one final component, snuggle. I force myself to stop and smell the boys hair. I try to stop, but it only takes seconds for my inner primate to appear and I am back to clipping nails and cleaning ears. Then my phone dings and I got this text below...
Watch to see the sweetest gut punch possible.
Ever been punched in the gut by a whole bunch of love? It is an awkward feeling. In this particular situation all the emotions were able to escape through my face, specifically my tear ducts. This text reminds me that my head is a dangerous place to hang out.
My heart knows the truth and I am not alone.
In afternoons when I haven't spoken in 2 hours because no words are there, you are there to shout his worth.
On days where I feel like I am dropping the ball, you all are there to pick it up for me.
In conversations when I forget to ask how your life is going, you don't assume selfishness, you share with me because you know I care.
When I felt like a blog would seem like a lame attempt at validation or attention, you reminded me that we can all grow from sharing our pain, love, and insecurities.
Opening up our life was not a decision taken lightly by me. Being vulnerable is not an emotion I'm down with. But the hope, support, and, strangely enough, community I have felt from this was unexpected. Letting people in allows the possibility to be understood, maybe not agreed with all the time, but understood. I've said it before and I will say it again, thank you so much for being part of our little Land of the Misfits. We don't have to have it all figured out. We will shout for the other when they are too scared to talk. And we will pick up that ball when our butterfingers can't hold on. And on those days you can't get out of your head, we will give you a gut punch of love.
A Very Special Thank You to Teshea and Alex Barbee: great friends and prayer warriors. This summer they visited MIX and recruited some more members of the team.
MIX is a summer camp for 6-8 graders put on by CIY (Christ in Youth), Students are encouraged to be Kingdom Workers in Gods Kingdom and use their own gifts to spread the word of Jesus. They focused on "SPEAK TRUTH AND LOVE" at all times. There were 1,000 kids there being pumped up by scripture, song, fun games, small groups and spending quality time together.
Mother of two amazing little boys, one who just happens to be a TS warrior.