We ran hard for days.
That's my element. I've told you before. Go. Do. Push. Fight. It's when it's over that I don't know what to do with myself. They told us that we are supposed to rest. That we are supposed to "take it easy". We are supposed to chill... Strangely enough, this is the part where I find my discomfort. This is where I run out of things to do, so instead I must feel. This is where reality catches up with me and emotions sneak in. This is where I am faced with it all... fear and relief and gratitude and anger and lonliness and happiness and exhaustion and love. This is when my heart is so full it starts to leak out of my eyes. I want to run from it, but I have been told you can't run forever. Sooner or later you have to feel something. Be Still, I am told. So I am. I feel it all today as we walk out of the hospital. I am tempted to ask housekeeping if she needs help vacuuming in the lobby or maybe I can start packing and re packing our bags, but I stop myself. Be still. Luke just had brain surgery. Twice. Yeah, that happened. I miss Sam and feel guilty for being away from him and for the sacrifices he must make. I know, I know, but you would, too. So just let me. Luke has been seizure free for two days. This is the longest he has gone in two and a half years. I'm just going to sit here with that for a while... as much as I want to rotate laundry... I'm just going to sit.
15 Comments
Brenda
12/18/2016 02:09:06 pm
Be Still and Know You Are Loved!
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Linda
12/18/2016 02:25:10 pm
Angels.....
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Becky
12/18/2016 02:34:42 pm
Bless his sweet heart. You are awesome, Stephanie, and what you are describing makes perfect sense. It's hard for that "be still" part. Let those eyes leak....You've earned it.
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Terri
12/18/2016 02:37:22 pm
I thought this was beautifully written. I know you think you need to do something...so do something for you and Luke and Sam. Still your mind as much as you can, but go ahead and celebrate too. You have earned that. I cried when I read about these past two days and how Luke has been seizure free. Tears of celebration. Love you always.
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Gina
12/18/2016 02:39:36 pm
Continued prayers 🙏
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Amy Tuttle
12/18/2016 02:57:19 pm
That is such awesome news!!!!!! God bless u and luke!!!!!
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Joy & Tim Foster
12/18/2016 03:23:10 pm
Beautifully written! Prayers are being answered! Please take comfort in knowing whatever you're doing...it is just right! Hugs!
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Jackie Harris
12/18/2016 03:44:18 pm
I think that I would be the same way. Keeping busy keeps you sane. You've earned the rest. Sit back, relax, and even (yes!) enjoy this moment. I'm so happy that Luke is doing well. You'll see Sam before you know it. Tyler says tell you "hi, he missed you at school this week and he's glad Luke is doing good"...continued prayers for his recovery.
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diana purlee
12/18/2016 04:29:38 pm
Dont be afraid to cry,dont hold it in, u have gone through so much with ur little angel, its the least u can do for urself, do it now, its for all the right reasons, love,peace,joy. For ur u and ur son.
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Donna
12/18/2016 05:04:48 pm
Best news I've read all day! Still praying, still keeping vigil, #TeamLukeNH!!
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holly cross
12/18/2016 05:11:13 pm
Just sit and be stil So happy to hear that Luke has been seizer free for two days. sending lots of hugs and kisses to u all. Love u Stephaine
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Kristin Day
12/18/2016 06:12:23 pm
Great news!!! Glad you all were discharged! Take care Luke!!!
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Ann Newton
12/18/2016 06:50:36 pm
You deserve rest and you need it! You will be busy at home soon enough. Praying continued blessings and no seizures. (I think you have great promise as a writer.)
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Doreen
12/18/2016 08:26:38 pm
❤️❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. Lots of love coming from next door! We sure love you all! Can't wait till you're back home!
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dottsido love and strenghth to youand yours and blessing to luke and family always in my prayers and hope eternal
12/19/2016 04:44:09 am
love to all and much much health to come for everyone and specially Luke darling
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AuthorMother of two amazing little boys, one who just happens to be a TS warrior. Categories
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